Superhero Movies on Steroids Series: Movie #7

Supergirl (1984)

Plot: When Kara (Helen Slater) loses the Omegahedron, a powerful energy source that sustains Argo City, a lost city of Kryptonians, she travels to Earth to retrieve it.  The Omegahedron falls into the hands of Selena (Faye Dunaway), a dangerous woman skilled in witch-craft with aspirations of world domination.  Kara, having the same powers as her cousin Superman, becomes Supergirl to stop Selena.

Was this really necessary?  This was just a way for Warner Brothers to bring in a female Superman crowd.  I’m not saying there can’t be female superheroes, but it certainly shouldn’t be this one.  This is a lazy film.  They don’t even explain how this whole Argo City thing works.  I mean, Krypton exploded, so how did this random city get stuck just floating around space?  What the hell!  And I’m sorry, but they bring in Lucy Lane (Maureen Teefy), Lois Lane’s sister to be a friend to Kara’s alter-ego Linda Lee.  Lucy Lane…really?  The guy who plays Jimmy Olsen (Marc McClure) is the only Superman actor to come on board with this.  Poor guy.  But the biggest reason why this is lazy and merely a cash-in are examining how Superman and Supergirl were introduced.  Clark Kent slowly learns his powers and who he is, whereas Supergirl crash lands into the water and instantly springs out in full Supergirl costume.  Aside from a few nice set pieces towards the end, this is forgettable with a real stupid and over the top villain.  It’s just a waste of time.

Rating: 4.5 out of 10 (Bad)

Category Rankings (Spoilers Throughout)

Best Performance: Helen Slater as Kara/Linda Lee/Supergirl
-Her very first scene is terrible, but after that, she has a good command of the character and is very good as both alter-egos.  She comes out of this mess okay.

Worst Performance: Hart Bochner as Ethan
-He’s just this bumbling stupid gardener who falls under a spell and instantly falls in love with Linda Lee.  It’s a terrible romantic interest performance.  The best way to describe him is an E-Level Vinny Barbarino or Fonz.

Best Line: “Hang in there, Danvers.  Don’t let them get to you.  Thirty days.  The semester’s just started.” –Principal Danvers on his students
-The delivery was pretty funny.  He looks so stressed out over this all girl’s boarding school and even takes a couple pills.  Take it easy man.

Worst Line: “What?  That I love you?  I’d shout it from the highest hill.” -Ethan
-I realize he’s under a spell, but come on; this is like Episode II: Attack of the Clones level dialogue here. 

Best Fight:
-Not much to choose from, but there is this random shadow thing created from the Omegahedron that attacks Supergirl outside the school dormitories.  I don’t know, there’s a lot of electricity and stuff that isn’t bad…whatever.

WTF Moment:
-Okay, so there’s this scene where Linda Lee is sitting in math class and her little white wrist band blinks signaling the Omegahedron is close by.  But as she gets up, Nigel the math teacher (Peter Cook) orders her to sit down to continue the lesson.  Linda actually obeys him and remains sitting to finish the lesson.  What the hell!!  Your whole city and race is at stake on you finding this orb, and you’re going to stay in math class!! WTF!

Best Scene:
-It’s easily the scene where Supergirl goes to the Phantom Zone.  We actually get to see it, which was pretty interesting.  It looks desolate and crappy, a cool looking scene actually.

Worst Scene:
-It’s the beginning in Argo City.  This whole dumb movie begins in a dumb way.  Kara loses the Omegahedron after she creates this big stupid dragon fly with it.  It flies out the window and the Omegahedron is sucked into space.  This is how the plot is initiated.  Wow.

Funniest Moment:
-Jimmy Olsen, Lucy Lane, and a few students hang out at…Popeyes?  I don’t know, there’s something about Popeyes being the cool hang-out that’s pretty funny.

Bad Ass Moment:
-I guess when Linda Lee needs to fake a school letter of recommendation; she uses super speed to write something and slips it in the file cabinet for the Principal to hide.  That wasn’t half bad.

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One comment

  1. Pingback: Superhero Movies on Steroids Series: THE FINAL RANKINGS « The Green Light

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