Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)
Plot: As the Turtles try and figure out the origin of the green ooze that mutated them, Shredder (Francois Chau) returns and seeks revenge on the Turtles, planning to create his own mutants with left over mutagen.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze is almost a perfect sequel. They make a really ballsy decision by pretty much bringing Shredder back to life. It’s not very plausible, but I’m glad they realized it’s not a true ninja turtles movie if Shredder’s not involved. And he gets a lot more screen time in this version. No Casey Jones this time around, but they introduce Keno, some kid who knows martial arts who’s a pretty solid character. There’s more fighting, and the turtles continue to use their environment as one of my favorite moments is when Michelangelo bags a bunch of thugs with the “Around the World” yo-yo trick. But it also ups the ante and pits the turtles up against two other mutants, just like in the cartoon. Wait a minute…did I say just like the cartoon? Well not exactly. The biggest criticism any die hard turtle fan has for this movie is that the two mutant characters are named Tokka and Rahzar and not Bebop and Rocksteady. WHAT THE HELL! There is absolutely no reason to not call them Bebop and Rocksteady! This is so frustrating. The characters of Tokka and Rahzar are exactly like Bebop and Rocksteady; big dumb idiots who just cause property damage and inconvenience the turtles. I don’t understand why they just couldn’t say Bebop and Rocksteady! It makes absolutely no sense! The only thing I can think of is that the Studios figured they could sell two new action figures as they assume most fans will own the cartoon action figures of Bebop and Rocksteady already. But they changed Bebop and Rocksteady from wart hog and rhino to snapping turtle and wolf, so there are your two new action figures right there. I’m fine with changing the animal types, but just fricking call them Bebop and Rocksteady! They also introduce Professor Perry who dresses exactly like Baxter Stockman in the cartoon. Just call him Baxter Stockman!! Although I can forgive the naming issue because Professor Perry is 100% good, whereas Baxter is kind of evil. Regardless though, this is a fantastic follow-up to the original, with an ending that will make you say holy shit…but we’ll get into that.
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Great)
Category Rankings (Spoilers Throughout)
Best Performance: David McCharen (voice) as Shredder
-The voice really reminded me of the cartoon Shredder. Always pissed off and angry, and constantly threatening underlings. And the way he says “Revenge” as he’s sharpening his new helmet…awesome.
Worst Performance: Paige Turco as April O’Neil
-This is not the same actress as the original. It’s not that she’s bad, but she’s just whatever here. The original April was so much better. With this April, I just didn’t care. Maybe she needed Casey Jones there, I don’t know.
Best Line: “You have youth, and I have experience. But only those who fight now have both.” -Master Splinter to Keno
-Well put Splinter. Listen to him Keno!
Worst Line: “I like to do a little chucking every now and then.” –April to Keno as she picks up the nunchucks
-And then she tries the nunchucks…Ugh. Maybe the better April actress (Judith Hoag) could have made it work.
-When the Turtles are fighting at the dance club, there are just all sorts of kick ass martial arts moves. Cartwheels and crazy kicks are flying everywhere. And they also crush Tatsu with the quadruple shell move. Now that’s awesome!
-It’s the beginning right after the turtles save Keno from the random thugs. The turtles are really stupid here. Not only do they have a short conversation with him, but they take his pizza and leave the cash. They are always using April’s name when they order pizza. This totally exposes them and where they live! WTF! Dudes, I know you love pizza, but you’re going to have to order from somewhere else and just wait another thirty minutes, come on.
-I’m going with the fight in the TGRI lab, only because I really appreciated that they made it look exactly like the Technodrome from the cartoon series. Obviously, they can’t call it the Technodrome, but it was dead on. I really do hate Tatsu though. He just stands there and grunts as the foot clan fights. What the hell! Do something!
-It’s the news conference after Tokka and Rahzer destroy part of the city. April grills Chief Sterns again like in the first one. In the first one, it made sense. April was trying to get him to investigate the Foot Clan, but he was being a complete jackass. Here, what is April’s goal? She’s tells Chief Sterns big animals did this, but what is the Chief going to do about it? He flat out says, “What do you want me to do about it” and April just says, “I don’t know.” What a pointless scene. If you know the turtles are the only ones who can stop them, why even bring it up to the police! It’s pointless.
-Vanilla Ice’s Ninja Rap…possibly one of the greatest scenes in the history of cinema.
Bad Ass Moment:
-I’ve been to hundreds of movies in my lifetime, but one of the movie theater experiences I’ll never forget is when Shredder becomes Super Shredder. This was fucking terrifying. It wasn’t even possible to fight him! Super Shredder was way too powerful that the movie Gods couldn’t even allow his existence to be over two minutes. I don’t even want to think about an entire movie centered around Super Shredder, its way too insane. I can’t even fathom it.