Superhero Movies on Steroids Series: Movie #28

Darkman III: Die Darkman Die (1996)

Plot: Peter Rooker (Jeff Fahey), a powerful criminal, employs a gifted doctor (Darlanne Fluegel) to isolate Westlake’s (Arnold Vosloo) blood sample into a powerful steroid and sell it on the black market.  Rooker has also stolen the only copy of Westlake’s research, which Westlake vows to get back as his alter ego Darkman.

This is the last Darkman movie, which is good, because I’m a little Darkmaned out.  This one isn’t bad, but not as strong as Darkman II.  I really enjoy the plot of this one though in creating a super steroid with Westlake’s blood.  You know, it’s weird.  This movie was released in 1996, and the bad female doctor is talking about selling this steroid to professional athletes.  This was two years before the Mark McGuire/Sammy Sosa homerun chase.  How were we so blind?  It was all there in Darkman III!  Anyways, let’s stay on topic.  We get our share of solid action.  There’s an awesome chase where Darkman is jumping on these barrels while being shot at.  The barrels explode as the bullets impact.  It kind of looked like a Donkey Kong Country level.  Unfortunately once again, that stupid over the top freak image montage plays in Darkman’s head.  And they do it twice.  Sigh.  Also, it seems like Westlake is always encountering doctors who are further ahead in skin research then he is.  I thought this guy was supposed to be a genius?  WTF.  They change up the disguise trick a bit.  Instead of using it to quickly take people by surprise, it was interesting to see Darkman have to portray Rooker while at his own surprise birthday party and interact with his family.  There is a little too much family drama in this one, and it gets a little nutty at the end.  It doesn’t have the Durant level bad guy like in the last two, but it’s a solid entry.  Please no more though.  I think we’ve exhausted everything we can do with the Darkman character.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10 (Slightly better than ‘meh’) 

Category Rankings (Spoilers Throughout):

Best Performance: Arnold Vosloo as Dr. Peyton Westlake/Darkman
-Just another solid turn here as Westlake.  I always found the Darkman character to be goofy and over the top, but in this entry, Vosloo brought a more serious presence when he’s in costume.

Worst Performance: Alicia Panetta as Jenny Rooker
-I hate bagging on child actors, but it’s just another over the top kid performance.  Sorry Alicia.

Best Line: “You made me look real bad!” –Adam
“You could do worse.” –Darkman
-Not a bad little retort from Darkman.  His lines usually suck too.

Worst Line: “Looks like you got an eyeful.” –Darkman after throwing the electrical tracker into the henchman’s eye
-Like I said, his lines usually suck.

Best Fight:
-Just a ‘meh’ fight between Darkman and the roided-up Rooker at the end, although they do have a long lead pipe battle.  What is this, Clue

WTF Moment:
-It’s got to be the end when Westlake gives up his one formula of liquid skin goo healer stuff to Jenny.  Why couldn’t he just replicate the formula first and then give it to her.  She can’t wait a few hours?  WTF.

Best Scene:
-Darkman has the choice to save the just elected DA, or follow Rooker to get his magic skin formula back.  He obviously saves the DA, and this is really the climax of the entire Darkman/Westlake character throughout all three movies.

Worst Scene:
-The four test subjects who are injected with the Westlake steroid are so fricking stupid.  This is like watching four Bebops and Rocksteadys.  One of the stupid roided-up goons jumps in front of a bullet thinking nothing will happen.  What a dumb ass.

Funniest Moment:
-Rooker is such an asshole.  His little sweet daughter comes in during a business meeting and parades her new dress shouting, “Daddy, daddy, look, it’s my new dress!”  Rooker responds like this: “Not now Jenny!!”  And the way he says it is so scathing.  His daughter is like six or seven years old!

Bad Ass Moment:
-This bad ass moment we don’t even get to see.  When they give a rat the Westlake steroid and put it in a cage with a huge cat, the camera cuts away.  We see Rooker’s henchmen watch in horror as the cat screeches in pain.  Oh man, I really wanted to see the rat destroy that cat.  Oh well.


One comment

  1. Pingback: Superhero Movies on Steroids Series: THE FINAL RANKINGS « The Green Light

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