Superhero Movies on Steroids Series: Movie #60

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Plot: When a cure for mutation is made and forged into a weapon, Magneto (Ian McKellen) leads the Brotherhood of Mutants in a war against the humans with the X-Men standing in their way.  Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) also returns, miraculously surviving the events at Alkali Lake, but with her mutation uncontrollable and terribly dangerous.

A great end to a great trilogy.  I don’t understand why this film is so hated.  Is it the weakest of the three?  Yes, but not by much.  Whether it’s because people refused to accept new director Brett Ratner, or massive changes to the comics, I don’t know.  What I do know is that this movie kicks ass.  The beginning is perfect, flashing back to Professor X and Magneto as allies meeting a young Jean Grey.  The storyline of the cure being turned into a weapon is pretty interesting, and almost makes Magneto the hero of the movie.  And make no mistake…this is Magneto’s movie.  I also like the Jean Grey/Phoenix dynamic, and the introduction of the ‘Class 5’ mutant concept.  Jean Grey is like a ticking time bomb in this film, creating some great tension.  I don’t think we’ve ever seen Professor X so freaked out by anything then he is by Phoenix.  The characters are as good as ever.  Kelsey Grammar as Beast…AWESOME!  Multiple Man is barely a character, but his one big moment was bad ass.  Wolverine becomes a true leader as the development of his character comes to a climax, which makes sense, because the trilogy is from his perspective.  I hated Angel when I first saw this, but I’ve come to accept him a little more.  I like his sub-plot.  He’s got two good scenes which are very quick, and then he’s pretty much just standing there with nothing to do.  They probably could have made this without him.  Although spreading his wings for the first time was pretty cool.  We finally get a movie where I liked Storm, even though she’s kind of bitchy and angsty.  But HalleBerryfinally takes command of the character.  There’s a little more camp in X-Men: the Last Stand, but it’s very minimal.  A couple bad lines from Juggernaut, and the unfortunate use of the bowling pin sound effect as he runs into people…ugh.  I think the best part of this movie though is the ending.  With the exception of Rogue’s character, I love every wrap up they give to this trilogy.  And the brilliance of it is that they give you closure, but just in case they want to make another one, the door is left slightly open.  I recognize some of the problems, but the stuff that works…really works.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10 (Very Good)

Category Rankings (Spoilers Throughout):

Best Performance: Ian McKellen as Magneto
-Like I said, this is his movie.  He feels like the hero, making all these grand speeches, and the passion just oozes out of McKellen.  He is kind of a cold hearted dick though. After Mystique is cured, he just leaves her on that train.  And how about when he just allows all the dumb mutants to run into the final battle first.  What an asshole.

Worst Performance: Anna Paquin as Rogue
-It’s not so much the performance as the character.  I hated her character wrap-up.  She shouldn’t take the cure!  What a slap in the face to everything Professor X stands for, and the movie gives off the feeling like she’s not going to take it.  There’s actually a deleted scene where she doesn’t do it.  I understand that her power is more difficult than most mutants, but it just doesn’t sit right with me. 

Best Line: “Charles Xavier did more for mutants than you’ll ever know.  My single greatest regret is that he had to die for our dream to live.” –Magneto
-A fucking fantastic line.  The best part about the X-Men movies and franchise is the relationship between Professor X and Magneto, and this one line of dialogue says it all.

Worst Line: “You gonna let me out of here?  I need to pee.” –Juggernaut
-The only good part about this line is that Ian McKellen gives him this look as if to say, ‘Man that was a shitty line.’

Best Fight:
-There’s a ton to choose from, but I’m going a little unorthodox and picking the mind-off between Professor X andPhoenixinside the Grey house.  This was pretty intense.  That house gets destroyed though…I hope the Grey’s have home owner’s insurance.

WTF Moment:
-When the X-Men train in a Danger Room session, they practice against the Sentinel robot.  But it doesn’t make any sense?  Sure, I guess training against huge robots is always helpful, but as far as I can tell, there are no Sentinels or organization creating Sentinels to threaten the X-Men, so why make this reference? 

Best Scene:
-The last battle is everything you could ever hope for in a mutant war.  Everyone gets their moment.  There’s shit going on every where.  Iceman turns into Ice.  Juggernaut slams through walls.  Magneto throws cars as Pyro lights them on fire. Phoenixnearly blows up everything.  But my favorite part of the whole final battle is just watching Beast fight.  When he swings from that pillar and barrels through a bunch of guys…now that’s what I’m talking about! 

Worst Scene:
-I hate when that woman locks her car door right after Magneto moves the bridge.  It’s so lame right after witnessing one of the best parts of the movie.  Unbelievable!

Funniest Moment:
-The one character who cracks me up throughout the whole movie is the guy whose power is just a bunch of needles coming out of his skin.  This guy thinks he’s all that and a bag up chips.  The funniest part is his first appearance when he’s talking shit to Magneto, and Pyro (Magneto’s biggest fanboy) goes, ‘Do you know who you’re talking too.’  The needle guy thinks he’s so tough as he unleashes his needles and says: ‘do you.’  Hahahaha.

Bad Ass Moment:
-Magneto moving theGolden GateBridgeis truly a sight to see…OMFG.


One comment

  1. Pingback: Superhero Movies on Steroids Series: THE FINAL RANKINGS « The Green Light

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