Hellboy: Sword of Storms (2006, animated)
Plot: When a Professor is possessed by an ancient demon, Hellboy (Ron Perlman) and his team go to investigate. Hellboy is transported off the planet where he learns about the Sword of Storms and its link to the demon and the impending doom back on Earth.
It’s cool they got a few of the actors from the original film to lend voices, but there’s not a whole lot to Hellboy: Sword of Storms. I love the camaraderie between Hellboy, Abe, and Liz, but those are the only interesting characters to latch onto. There’s a ton of boring exposition, and even with all the exposition, it’s still a clunky story. Hellboy just meanders along fighting monster after monster with no real purpose or sense of dread. There’s some nifty animation, like when green fire surrounds a giant human spider lady. The professor who’s possessed by the demon is supposed to be a major villain, but he just meanders along as well, cackling in back alleys not really doing much. I enjoyed the characters, but this is a poorly put together story that I just didn’t care for.
Rating: 6 out of 10 (‘meh’)
Category Rankings (Spoilers Throughout):
Best Performance: Selma Blair as Liz Sherman
-There’s definitely a nice focus on her character and her conflict with using her powers that was easily the most interesting piece to the film.
Worst Performance: Keith Ferguson as Professor Russell
-He’s whiney and annoying, and what are these random sense powers he suddenly uses? This character stinks.
Best Line: “You guys were gonna eat me.” –Hellboy to random spirit monsters
-I would imagine eating Hellboy is like the equivalent to eating 1,000 chocolate chip muffins.
Worst Line: “Appreciate the batting practice.” –Hellboy after hitting floating head sprits with a tree bark
-I usually enjoy Hellboy’s one-liners and jokes, but this one fell flat.
-Hellboy fighting the two demons at the end wasn’t bad. There’s a lot of electricity, hammers, staffs, and punching, so there you go.
-There are talking sandals! In fact, there’s a whole scene where a bunch of inanimate objects attack. WTF.
-When Hellboy’s walking through the forest, the animation is at the top of its game. The leaves falling looked pretty nice, and then there’s this lady playing one of those floor guitar things as blood drips from her fingers onto the instrument.
-The Sword of Storms breaking is supposed to be this big deal, so when it breaks towards the end, we are like, ‘Oh shit, Hellboy is fucked now.’ Yet at the end of the demon fight, Hellboy just picks up the broken pieces and wins and is just like, ‘Whatever.’ What the hell! The sword breaking was supposed to be this huge deal, but you can just use the broken halves and it works just fine? Lame.
-Hellboy is transported to this random world. His response: “Ah, crap.”
Bad Ass Moment:
-The beginning when Liz lights the entire cave on fire and the whole screen goes orange and red. That was pretty cool.