Superhero Movies on Steroids Series: Movie #74

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)

Plot: An alien being with great power dubbed the ‘Silver Surfer’ (Laurence Fishburne, voice) sets out to destroy Earth.  It’s up to the Fantastic Four to stop him as they learn there’s a greater force controlling the Surfer’s actions known as Galactus.  Dr. Doom (Julian McMahon) also returns as he strives to understand the source of Surfer’s power.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer is a hell of a lot better than the previous movie, I can tell you that.  It’s definitely more entertaining, with a lot more action.  Clearly this movie had a bigger budget.  It’s all over the screen.  The characters are given more personality with a lot more camaraderie.  Reed Richards is more of a leader.  There’s a great moment where he stands up to this dick head military general as he defends his entire team.  Johnny Storm is even a fleshed out character in this one.  I can’t say the same for the other two members of the Fantastic Four.  Jessica Alba’s performance is even worse.  And I’m sorry, but I just really hate the Thing.  He’s so goofy and ridiculous.  If he didn’t have that dumb voice, maybe I could get on board with him a little more.  I get the point that the character wants to blend in with normal society, but does he have to wear the sports jerseys, baseball jackets, and drink lattes.  It just looks silly.  He also has the worst lines such as ‘Surf’s up metal head’ when knocking around the Surfer.  In fact, this would be a pretty good movie if they just limited the camp.  It’s not horrible, but it’s pretty bad.  They over do it with the E! Hollywood tabloid crap on covering Reed and Sue’s wedding.  There are way too many jokey moments in the action scenes, which is a huge pet peeve of mine in superhero movies.  We get stuff like the Thing getting knocked into a wall as he crushes the stretchy Mr. Fantastic and then proceeds to say ‘my bad.’  Come on!  I’m fine with having humor in these films, but when we get to the serious action moments, it’s time to cut that crap out.  And I also think Dr. Doom is a pretty lame villain.  He’s campy as hell and I never took him as a serious threat.  He’s a joke.  There are plenty of annoying things going on with this film, but the best part about it by far is Silver Surfer.  Everything going on with him is interesting and I think he blends in great with the environment, kind of like the T-1000 in Terminator 2.  Laurence Fishburne also adds a lot with the voice.  Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer has its problems, but it’s head and shoulders above the original.

Rating: 6 out of 10 (‘meh’)

Category Rankings (Spoilers Throughout):

Best Performance: Chris Evans as Johnny Storm/Human Torch
-Very charismatic, funny, but there’s actually character development going on.  He’s truly the heart of the story, and Evans does a good job of carrying it.  There’s a nice moment between him and Sue before her wedding.

Worst Performance: Jessica Alba as Sue Storm/Invisible Woman
-She’s bad in the first movie, but you were able to ignore it.  In this one, it’s a complete train wreck.  She couldn’t deliver one line without making me cringe.  I think I mentioned this in the first review, but when she tries to create force fields, her entire body and face transitions into a pose that can only be described as laughable.

Best Line: “I’d hate to wake up one morning and find out she was killed in a rock slide.” –Johnny to the Thing on Thing’s relationship ‘predicament’
-That’s a pretty hysterical line.

Worst Line: “My bad.” –Thing
-Yea, I mentioned this earlier, but ‘my bad?’  Come on.  Do we really need to recycle bad jokes from the mid 90’s?  Ugh.

Best Fight:
-When Human Torch absorbs all the Fantastic Four powers, he engages in a solid fight with Dr. Doom on the surf board.  I love the flaming fist which kind of reminded me of the Green Lantern fist from the recent Green Lantern movie.

WTF Moment:
-I thought Stan Lee’s cameo in Spider-man 3 was bad?  Wow.  I detest and loathe this moment.  Stan Lee goes up to the usher for Reed and Sue’s wedding and says he’s on the guest list as ‘Stan Lee.’  Come on!  It’s moments like this where I can’t take the rest of the film seriously.  I hate the little ‘wink’ to the audience.  Hey, it’s Stan Lee, the creator of Fantastic Four, and he just referred to himself in the Fantastic Four movie!!  WOW!  How clever!  Give me a break.  I have no problem with Stan Lee making cameos in Marvel movies, but does it have to be these self indulgent moments?  WTF.

Best Scene:
-It’s in the forest where Silver Surfer is flying around knocking missiles away left and right.  He absorbs one of them in his board which was awesome.  I also like when they initiate that pulse which knocks him off his board.  It looked really solid visually as Silver Surfer just gets owned.

Worst Scene:
-It’s the final wedding scene.  It’s just camp galore here.  Uh-oh,Veniceis sinking.  Gee, we better just cut to the end.  Oh wait, Sue has to throw the bouquet though, let’s not forget.  Oh what fun we’re having asVenice sinks.  And let’s all fly away in our jet waving happily as we make the Fantastic Four symbol in the sky.  It’s just a little much.

Funniest Moment:
-It’s actually a line from Reed as he vows to Sue he won’t postpone the wedding again.  ‘And I’m not gonna let anything get in the way of that.  Not even the mysterious transformation of matter at the subatomic level.’  Sue actually has a mildly amusing response, but it doesn’t come off that way because Jessica Alba can’t deliver it with any humor whatsoever.  ‘That’s the most romantic thing you ever said to me.’

Bad Ass Moment:
-I don’t care much for Dr. Doom, but when he steals the Surfer’s board and barrels out of the military facility…that was a good one.


One comment

  1. Pingback: Superhero Movies on Steroids Series: THE FINAL RANKINGS « The Green Light

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